-I heard Coldplay on the radio a couple days ago and I decided that they should put out a rap album, because it would be extremely awful and then maybe they wouldn’t play them on the radio 14 times an hour.
-I don’t have a lot of romantic experience with women, but I bet if I were writing a love poem, referring to a woman as ‘the Kanye West of my heart’ would be a bad idea.
-Monkeys probably wouldn’t make good babysitters, but I won’t know for sure unless I have children of my own.
-While Dove chocolates are delicious, they are so obviously designed for women. I know this because of the messages on the inside of the wrappers. I had one last week at work and the message inside said ‘Explore yourself’. It might as well have had ‘girlfriend’ or ‘diva’ on the end of it. I am waiting for one to just say ‘You go girl’.
-The name ‘Kanye’ is now in my computer’s dictionary.
-We know that crooked cops take bribes and work as freelance muscle, but I think a crooked dentist probably just gives out lots of candy at Halloween and other candy appropriate holidays.
-A good way to take up space in a document is a size 14 font, accompanied with dashes at the beginning of the sentence and a space between each statement.
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