Apathetic Like Jesus

As one who attended a Bible college, I encountered a lot of people falling in love and getting married. Some couples were good friends, others merely acquaintances. One year, one such couple got married about halfway through the first semester.

I am not exaggerating when I say that almost everyone one from school went to that wedding (don’t pee your pants with disbelief-it’s a small Bible college). Several faculty members had gone, and every one of the R.A.s went-except for me. I was the only authority on campus that weekend. That in itself is terrifying.

Later on, when talking with a friend about why I had not gone, I expressed that in the most Christ like way possible, I just didn’t care. That phrase would resurface every once in a while in my vocabulary in the following years.

When I would say this about someone or something, I meant nothing vicious or mean-spirited. I wished people the best in a very general way, but if we weren’t friends the subject in question wasn’t that important to me. It just wasn’t.

In the past year or so, I have made a conscious effort to never say that again, for the simple reason that there is no such thing as Christ like apathy. I don’t believe that I will ever be friends with every person, much less good friends. That’s okay, because I don’t have to be.

But I don’t think not giving a crap is alright either. And it is certainly not right to try to tag on godly attributes to an ungodly attitude. If I don’t care about someone or something very much, I need to own that and leave Jesus out of that, because I know he is not apathetic.

Thank you, Jesus, that you do not share the attitude that I sometimes have. If Jesus was ever apathetic, there would not be a life, a ministry, a death, and a resurrection to celebrate, something that is not to be celebrated only this weekend, but in every second that we are given. Jesus, I’m sorry for tagging you onto my lameness; you deserve better.

I don’t necessarily know how to change this, but I know I need to, and that my savior hasn’t given up on me.