So, bottom line, I am not a teenage girl. As such, I do not have many teenage girl tendencies. Yes, I did say ‘many’, instead of, oh say, ‘absolutely none whatsoever, just what are you insinuating?’ But thankfully the sources of my teenage girlishness are becoming less and less dominated by teenage girls themselves.
For you see, I am a huge fan of Justin Bieber.
Psych! I happen to spend a decent amount of time on Facebook, particularly using the instant messaging feature, and I have started texting quite a bit within the last year. While navigating through the typing jungle, I have encountered a few intelligence crushing pythons along the way. Along side horrendously poor spelling and increasingly baffling abbreviations, I have grappled with emoticons.
Oh emoticons! I guess I don’t have as big a beef against them as the title blatantly states. However, on the days where I question my masculinity, I look at myself in the mirror and firmly state, ‘At least I don’t use emoticons.’ Except for when I typed some punctuation marks together on Facebook and it actually turned into a face with it’s tongue sticking out (oddly enough, I would have been okay if it hadn’t transformed). The only way to fully recover from that was to kill a bear with an ax.
So I started to create my own emoticons. Not images necessarily; I just type out something outrageous and confusing. Most of them are meant to indicate happiness, but some do refer to disappointment. So the rest of this post is dedicated to own special brand of emoticons. Some I have used before, some I’m creating right now.
Emoticons of Happiness
-A squirrel using a deep fryer
- A possum with a mullet
-A bear holding a shotgun
-A flamingo in overalls
-A dog in a sombrero
-An old man carving a wooden spoon out of a slightly larger wooden spoon
-Carrot Top falling down an escalator
-A chimp hitting a kangaroo with a folding chair
Emoticons of Negativity
-A dying skunk watching ‘Battlefield Earth’
-A clown with a lazy eye and a straight razor
-Your eighth grade health teacher
-A Wal-Mart greeter with diarrhea
So okay, I like to have some sort of point to my posts, other than just being goofy. Well most of the time, anyway. Those two posts about ways to feel young contained -48% helpful information. But I guess if there was anything of actual lasting value that I would like to add to this, I would ask, no implore, everyone to quit using so many flipping smiley faces, learn to spell the words properly, and quit creating abbreviations- I mean abbrevs.
I am fairly convinced that this kind of behavior is either making us dumber as a nation or proving how dumb we’ve become. I know this because I have seen people sign notes with ‘laters’ instead of sincerely. So please, please, please, learn to spell. And don’t use all those smiley faces. Unless you are in fact an 8 year old girl. But even then you should probably know better.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
How to Miss Out on Your Purpose in Life (While Looking For It)
So I said that I would post something about the week I was camp and I am doing that right now. In this post. That you are reading. I am keeping that promise as you read this. This is annoying. The only thing that keeps it from totally Rob Bell-ing is the presence of a paragraph format.
From July 31st to August 6th, I was a faculty member for the 9th and 10th grade Zone B at Pine Haven Christian Assembly in Park Rapids, MN. The faculty are the volunteer counselors and deans who run the week of camp along with the paid staff who are there all summer and the manager who runs the camp year long. It was a smaller week than was expected, with only 50 campers. After the first few days, we just decided to quit making jokes/griping about how small the group was and just enjoy the opportunity God was giving us to interact on a more personal one-on-one basis.
One of the sayings that was thrown around quite often was ‘Camp is for the campers.’ It was originally intended to remind us that we are there to serve the campers and reflect Jesus Christ, not just hang out with each other when we have the opportunity. However it was mainly used by the campers to ball out the faculty for being better than them at flicker (it’s like ultimate football with a much more Owl Cityish name).
But that week was for me too. I got to see friends, serve others, get away and do something different. During that week, and the weeks before, God was doing something in me that I can only describe as punching me in the heart. This happened in a few ways, but I will only discuss one of them here. It is, as the title indicates, related to figuring out what your purpose in life is, and how easy it is to miss it.
Now, I believe that we have a purpose for being here. The creation account of Genesis tells us that we were made, which says right there that our existence is not mere coincidence. Throughout the Scriptures we find God using ordinary (e.g. flawed, sinful, fearful, sometimes downright awful) people to accomplish mighty things for His glory and for the betterment of the world. My apologies for not listing a bunch of them; take it as an encouragement to dig into the Word of God.
With this knowledge of how God has used people in the past and how I see Him use those I know, I have been wondering a lot about what my purpose is. And I think that’s okay, to a certain extent. Knowing what God wants us to do with our lives is important. But you can go about it the wrong way as I did, for the pretty much the last two years. So here is how to not do that.
#1. Do not let the more specific purpose of your life blind you to the broader, and much more important purpose of your life: We are all created with different abilities and talents, which lend to the different areas of service of the One who gave them to us. But you and I also have a purpose greater than that, a purpose shared by each and every human being who has ever or will ever walk the face of this earth: To know God personally, and to enjoy being His child. To accept His love for us and in response, share that love with those who have yet to hear. From Genesis through Revelation, old covenant and new, this has been God’s plan for us. A trusted friend reminded of this about two months ago, and rather idiotically I couldn’t see her wisdom.
#2. Your specific purpose is not for you: What God specifically has in mind for you is not for your glory; it is for His pleasure, to draw people closer to Him, and to strengthen the Body of Christ. It is not to give you worth; your worth should be found in Christ and Christ alone. It is not to gain the love of God, which can neither be gained nor lost, but will always be.
#3. Above all things, seek God and His Kingdom: During the week, we would do devotions in the morning. One of the deans spoke each morning and then we (campers and faculty) were given handouts relating to what was spoken about that morning and how it related to the theme of the week.
It was Wednesday morning’s devotion that contained the familiar passage of Jeremiah 29:11- ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ This is from a letter the prophet Jeremiah has written to the nation of Israel, the people God chose to use as ministers and messengers to the world, who have been finally been exiled for their constant disobedience.
While this is a wonderful verse, we often ignore the full context of the passage, myself included. So I came upon the next two verses, which struck me just so- ‘Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’
God must be sought first and foremost. He is not distant, and He will reach out when you cannot, but He has to have your heart. You see, I hadn’t so much been seeking my purpose as I was whining about not knowing what it was. I was not striving to know God or to please Him in ways I already know are pleasing to Him. I think to call it a half-hearted attempt is being exceedingly merciful. Not only was I missing out on my greater purpose, I was doing a craptacular job looking for my more specific purpose, which I think is kind of sad.
Fortunately, God is ever forgiving and ever merciful, as long as we are humble and willing to admit our error. When we look anywhere than to Him, we are sinning. Even when we look towards good things and have noble purposes, they cannot be a substitute for a passionate pursuit for the One who passionately pursues us. Not knowing what tomorrow holds, I told on to the One who holds tomorrow itself. And I think that’s the best advice I can give on this matter.
From July 31st to August 6th, I was a faculty member for the 9th and 10th grade Zone B at Pine Haven Christian Assembly in Park Rapids, MN. The faculty are the volunteer counselors and deans who run the week of camp along with the paid staff who are there all summer and the manager who runs the camp year long. It was a smaller week than was expected, with only 50 campers. After the first few days, we just decided to quit making jokes/griping about how small the group was and just enjoy the opportunity God was giving us to interact on a more personal one-on-one basis.
One of the sayings that was thrown around quite often was ‘Camp is for the campers.’ It was originally intended to remind us that we are there to serve the campers and reflect Jesus Christ, not just hang out with each other when we have the opportunity. However it was mainly used by the campers to ball out the faculty for being better than them at flicker (it’s like ultimate football with a much more Owl Cityish name).
But that week was for me too. I got to see friends, serve others, get away and do something different. During that week, and the weeks before, God was doing something in me that I can only describe as punching me in the heart. This happened in a few ways, but I will only discuss one of them here. It is, as the title indicates, related to figuring out what your purpose in life is, and how easy it is to miss it.
Now, I believe that we have a purpose for being here. The creation account of Genesis tells us that we were made, which says right there that our existence is not mere coincidence. Throughout the Scriptures we find God using ordinary (e.g. flawed, sinful, fearful, sometimes downright awful) people to accomplish mighty things for His glory and for the betterment of the world. My apologies for not listing a bunch of them; take it as an encouragement to dig into the Word of God.
With this knowledge of how God has used people in the past and how I see Him use those I know, I have been wondering a lot about what my purpose is. And I think that’s okay, to a certain extent. Knowing what God wants us to do with our lives is important. But you can go about it the wrong way as I did, for the pretty much the last two years. So here is how to not do that.
#1. Do not let the more specific purpose of your life blind you to the broader, and much more important purpose of your life: We are all created with different abilities and talents, which lend to the different areas of service of the One who gave them to us. But you and I also have a purpose greater than that, a purpose shared by each and every human being who has ever or will ever walk the face of this earth: To know God personally, and to enjoy being His child. To accept His love for us and in response, share that love with those who have yet to hear. From Genesis through Revelation, old covenant and new, this has been God’s plan for us. A trusted friend reminded of this about two months ago, and rather idiotically I couldn’t see her wisdom.
#2. Your specific purpose is not for you: What God specifically has in mind for you is not for your glory; it is for His pleasure, to draw people closer to Him, and to strengthen the Body of Christ. It is not to give you worth; your worth should be found in Christ and Christ alone. It is not to gain the love of God, which can neither be gained nor lost, but will always be.
#3. Above all things, seek God and His Kingdom: During the week, we would do devotions in the morning. One of the deans spoke each morning and then we (campers and faculty) were given handouts relating to what was spoken about that morning and how it related to the theme of the week.
It was Wednesday morning’s devotion that contained the familiar passage of Jeremiah 29:11- ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ This is from a letter the prophet Jeremiah has written to the nation of Israel, the people God chose to use as ministers and messengers to the world, who have been finally been exiled for their constant disobedience.
While this is a wonderful verse, we often ignore the full context of the passage, myself included. So I came upon the next two verses, which struck me just so- ‘Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’
God must be sought first and foremost. He is not distant, and He will reach out when you cannot, but He has to have your heart. You see, I hadn’t so much been seeking my purpose as I was whining about not knowing what it was. I was not striving to know God or to please Him in ways I already know are pleasing to Him. I think to call it a half-hearted attempt is being exceedingly merciful. Not only was I missing out on my greater purpose, I was doing a craptacular job looking for my more specific purpose, which I think is kind of sad.
Fortunately, God is ever forgiving and ever merciful, as long as we are humble and willing to admit our error. When we look anywhere than to Him, we are sinning. Even when we look towards good things and have noble purposes, they cannot be a substitute for a passionate pursuit for the One who passionately pursues us. Not knowing what tomorrow holds, I told on to the One who holds tomorrow itself. And I think that’s the best advice I can give on this matter.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Trapped in a Jumpsuit and What It Taught Me
I got trapped in a jumpsuit while in a thrift store dressing room. (I realize I’m giving quite a bit away, even considering the title. But really, when you think about it, it takes a good first line to open a story, like ’It was the best of times, it was the worst of times’, or ’Go, dog, go!’ ).
Towards the end of my college career, I went to a local thrift store with Bill, a freshman that year and fellow food service employee.. This store has a large variety of items from clothing to old books to scary looking VHS tapes that aren’t dirty but aren’t really clean either.
I wasn’t looking for anything in particular at the time, so I just drifted through the aisles. I had found all sorts of cool things in the past, and I was not disappointed this day, either; for there, right in front of my eyes, were a few sets of coveralls, the kind mechanics wear.
I began to flip through them, searching for my size, when I came upon the suit for me. On first inspection, it met all of my qualifications: the tag said extra large. I took it to the dressing room and began to put it on. Does it fit the legs? Check. Waist? Check. Arms and back? Kind of tight, maybe I should stop zipping right now and get out of this thing.
Oh crap, we hit a snag here. My arms don’t want to pull out of the sleeves. Maybe if I pull a little slower…Nope. Maybe if I bend…Danggit. Wait… Nope again. Well I am definitely stuck. There’s nothing left to do but go out and ask for help. That’s the mature, responsible thing to do. Unless… Ow, ow, ow! Time to go out for real. Crap.
I unlatch the dressing room door and peek my head out, scanning the immediate vicinity for Bill. While I do not know Bill as well as one should before they ask them for help in extricating oneself from a used jumpsuit, but I felt like it was really the best option. Bill is not in my immediate line of sight. I lean out the door a little further and scan the perimeter. Nope.
So I walked out in the ill-fitting jumpsuit, looked around until I found Bill, had him come back to help me, and my coveralled nightmare was over. Psych! Seriously, would this story have really mattered enough to warrant a post, much less teach me something valuable if I had behaved in the right way?
No, I went back in and tried to get out by myself. And you know what? I made it out of that jumpsuit. It probably didn’t take very long, but it felt like forever. At one point I was considering if it would be easier to cut the suit open with my fingernail clippers or simply just dislocate my shoulder. By the end of the whole thing, I’m pretty sure I sweated in places I didn’t know had sweat glands.
Ultimately, not trying the coveralls on would have been the best decision, but after that the best decision would have been to swallow my pride and find someone to help me get out. But instead I tried to go it alone.
By using the world around us, God is constantly trying to get our attention, to reveal to us the nature of reality. When I was stuck in a jumpsuit, I think God was saying ‘Karl, it’s okay. You’re stuck, and it’s scary and awkward, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. I know you’re embarrassed, but that’s okay. I know you feel vulnerable already, but if you are willing to be a little more vulnerable, it’ll all be over really quick. Help is available if you reach for it.’
And, as previously explained, I almost ripped my arm off trying to get out by myself.
When we are in trouble, there is always the option to turn and ask for help. With God it is never too late. As the Body of Christ, we are to share each other’s burdens, carrying one another when we cannot stand ourselves, and ultimately pointing each other to the Great Physician, who is Jesus himself.
This is something that cannot happen however, if we stay in the dressing room and only peak around the corner of the door. God is within reach; He has not moved and is reaching out for you as far as He can. God knows that you need Him and no matter what you have done or how long you have fought against Him, He is slow to anger and abounding in love. He is near and not far; His ears and His heart are wide open, waiting for nothing else than for you to speak to Him.
Towards the end of my college career, I went to a local thrift store with Bill, a freshman that year and fellow food service employee.. This store has a large variety of items from clothing to old books to scary looking VHS tapes that aren’t dirty but aren’t really clean either.
I wasn’t looking for anything in particular at the time, so I just drifted through the aisles. I had found all sorts of cool things in the past, and I was not disappointed this day, either; for there, right in front of my eyes, were a few sets of coveralls, the kind mechanics wear.
I began to flip through them, searching for my size, when I came upon the suit for me. On first inspection, it met all of my qualifications: the tag said extra large. I took it to the dressing room and began to put it on. Does it fit the legs? Check. Waist? Check. Arms and back? Kind of tight, maybe I should stop zipping right now and get out of this thing.
Oh crap, we hit a snag here. My arms don’t want to pull out of the sleeves. Maybe if I pull a little slower…Nope. Maybe if I bend…Danggit. Wait… Nope again. Well I am definitely stuck. There’s nothing left to do but go out and ask for help. That’s the mature, responsible thing to do. Unless… Ow, ow, ow! Time to go out for real. Crap.
I unlatch the dressing room door and peek my head out, scanning the immediate vicinity for Bill. While I do not know Bill as well as one should before they ask them for help in extricating oneself from a used jumpsuit, but I felt like it was really the best option. Bill is not in my immediate line of sight. I lean out the door a little further and scan the perimeter. Nope.
So I walked out in the ill-fitting jumpsuit, looked around until I found Bill, had him come back to help me, and my coveralled nightmare was over. Psych! Seriously, would this story have really mattered enough to warrant a post, much less teach me something valuable if I had behaved in the right way?
No, I went back in and tried to get out by myself. And you know what? I made it out of that jumpsuit. It probably didn’t take very long, but it felt like forever. At one point I was considering if it would be easier to cut the suit open with my fingernail clippers or simply just dislocate my shoulder. By the end of the whole thing, I’m pretty sure I sweated in places I didn’t know had sweat glands.
Ultimately, not trying the coveralls on would have been the best decision, but after that the best decision would have been to swallow my pride and find someone to help me get out. But instead I tried to go it alone.
By using the world around us, God is constantly trying to get our attention, to reveal to us the nature of reality. When I was stuck in a jumpsuit, I think God was saying ‘Karl, it’s okay. You’re stuck, and it’s scary and awkward, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. I know you’re embarrassed, but that’s okay. I know you feel vulnerable already, but if you are willing to be a little more vulnerable, it’ll all be over really quick. Help is available if you reach for it.’
And, as previously explained, I almost ripped my arm off trying to get out by myself.
When we are in trouble, there is always the option to turn and ask for help. With God it is never too late. As the Body of Christ, we are to share each other’s burdens, carrying one another when we cannot stand ourselves, and ultimately pointing each other to the Great Physician, who is Jesus himself.
This is something that cannot happen however, if we stay in the dressing room and only peak around the corner of the door. God is within reach; He has not moved and is reaching out for you as far as He can. God knows that you need Him and no matter what you have done or how long you have fought against Him, He is slow to anger and abounding in love. He is near and not far; His ears and His heart are wide open, waiting for nothing else than for you to speak to Him.
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