A New Form of Sexism That Women Won’t Mind

As many of you may already be aware, the word ‘bromance’ has now been added to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary (the interesting thing is that I will have to now add it to my laptop’s dictionary). The official definition is a close nonsexual friendship between men, which seems like an oddly tame definition to me, considering some of the passionate bromances I have seen portrayed on television and film.

This is a perfect example of the increasing popularity of transforming similar words into new words by replacing the first three letters with ‘bro’. Examples of this include:

-Broseidon, Lord of the Brocean

-brotassium

-1985 Texas State Brodeo Champion

Men have the opportunity to engage in this lighthearted/insufferable banter, and I suppose some might argue that women should be able to do the same thing. The most obvious choice for this is using ‘sis’, short for sister.

But I think this is probably a situation where there will be no protests about gender inequality, and I have two reasons for this.

#1: Even though I really enjoy exercising my creativity and coming up with new bro words, it can get annoying. So I imagine that the same thing might happen with sis.

#2: I imagine that sis words will get annoying a lot quicker than bro words. Why? Because it’s really difficult to come up with words/phrases, and what is there is awful. These are some that I came up with:

-sistematic theology

-sistic fibrosis

-sisboomba

-sistemic lead poisoning

Now, imagine calling a woman any of those. Doesn’t matter what your gender, you will get stabbed. Your attempt at lightheartedness will end poorly.

So what’s the point of all of this? Maybe it’s that it’s safest to call someone by their name, instead of increasingly elaborate and silly nicknames. Unless their name is Turdlington. Then it’s okay to think of something else.

‘Christian’ Products, the Prophet Samuel, and My ‘What the Crap!?’ Moment of the Day

http://www.myfourmonkeys.com/2010/09/band-angels-bible-inspired-bandages-for-kids/

As the title suggests, I want to talk a little bit about ‘Christian’ products. This is a topic that I weighs on my heart, for I am a follower of Jesus Christ and I use products, as I am sure many of you are and do as well.

The topic of ‘Christian’ products is also one that I have very strong opinions about, but it really depends on what the product is and why you bought it. There is a bottled water called ‘Living Water’ that has the Bible verse on that topic on the label and is donated/sold at low price to missions organizations and given away at ministry outreaches. Would I call bottled water ‘Living Water’? No, but I think their heart is in the right place.

However, there is a product that I came across quite a while ago that I want to talk about. It is called Band Angels Adhesive Bandages. They are bandages that have cartoon, Precious Momentsy, angels on them, along with one of three separate Bible verses about healing.

Now out of objectivity and fairness, I sometimes like to do some research on a topic, so that I can accurately make fun of it. Originally I was just looking for an image to post, but I found a webpage that sells Band Angels that also contained quite a bit of information about the product and why it was created, including an eight and a half minute Youtube video. I read the page, and watched the video; I will include the link so that you may do the same.

My ‘What the Crap!?’ moment of the day came as I took in this information. While the product came out of what appears to be a very sincere and noble goal (a couple helping their young granddaughter cope with juvenile diabetes), it seems to quickly turned into an opportunity to make money by putting Bible verses onto something. Maybe that is a harsh and cynical conclusion, but that is what I got from watching the video and I invite you to form your own conclusions from it as well.

So people making money off Jesus, no big surprise there. What did it for me was the sales numbers: Band Angels has sold over one million bandages in over 700 retail stores. It did not say if those figures include internet sales/distribution, but either way that is a lot of band aids misusing Isaiah 53:5.

My question is a simple ‘Why?’ Why do things like this sell? I think that in part it can be traced back to the book of 1^st Samuel, when the Israelites have asked the Prophet Samuel to crown a king for them, so that they can be just like everyone else. Samuel then brings this to the Lord: And the LORD told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. (1^st Samuel 8:7-8, NIV)

So what does that have to do with band aids?, you should rightly be asking. I think that sometimes we get really obsessed with minor details in our faith, and those details get in the way of the big picture, which is our relationship to God.

I believe that Christians should support other Christians, and give them their business when it is appropriate to do so. But, when we run around trying to make sure that everything we have is ‘Christian’, we run the risk of putting that in front of Christ like living. We run the risk that we will push God aside in our pursuit of Him; that we will bow at the altar of the false god of Stuff, just like all of those who do not know Jesus.

I think there are a lot of issues involved in the purchase of ‘Christian’ products, and I have chosen to examine a narrow part of that. I encourage you to look at the link, to watch the video, to comment on this post. If you think I’m wrong tell me. I just want to be cautious, and to throw a word of warning out into the vastness of cyberspace (does anyone use that term anymore?) I just hate the idea of someone missing out on genuinely knowing and enjoying their Savior because they were to caught up on trying to find ‘Christian’ toilet paper.

Becoming Like the Paparazzi

The optometrist or ophthalmologist or whatever it’s called at the Alexandria Wal-Mart is named Dr. Derek Bonaci. I think that’s how you spell his name. Anywho, he’s the eye doctor at Wal-Mart. I see his name and his picture just every time I am there (this week it has been almost every day so far).

So I get a lot of face time with Dr. Bonaci…’s photograph. So I had this idea that it would be kind of funny some time to go up to him and say ‘Are you Derek Bonaci? The Derek Bonaci?’ And maybe ask him for his autograph, and say how great it was to actually meet him.

And if I felt like lying, I would claim that I had actually done that, that Dr. Bonaci was deeply moved in some profound way, and not just thinking I was some wiseacre up to some tomfoolery. Which it would be, the type of tomfoolery you would expect from some who uses the word ‘tomfoolery’.

But, I wonder what would happen if we started to treat other people like the paparazzi treat celebrities. I do not mean getting into car chases, just to get a ‘casual’ shot. I do not mean going through your neighbors’ garbage, or looking for ‘baby bumps’, or any of that stuff you see in the check out line or on the E! network.

I am talking about making a big deal out of other people. I am talking about giving people your full attention, no matter who they are or what that interchange will get you.

Why? Because each and every person you came into contact with today is someone that God is passionately in love with. Because if Jesus was physically in this room with me right now, I believe that I would have his undivided attention. Because no matter the level of humility or modesty, everybody wants somebody to pay attention to them at some point. Because I believe it is a great way to love your neighbor as you love yourself.