Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Funny Thoughts to Brighten or Darken Your Day

Here is a collection of random thoughts for you to ponder as you make a better use of your time than I do.

-Whenever I see a discarded shoe on the side of the road, I say a little prayer that there isn’t a foot in that thing.

-If I see the word ‘bronies’ on the Internet, I ignore it and hope that someone misspelled brownies.

-If I could grow a beard, I would have an instant Zach Galifanakis costume.

-When life gives you lemons, thank the Lord that life didn’t give you Brussels sprouts. You can’t make any delicious beverages with Brussels sprouts, whereas lemons afford you multiple options.

-Yesterday I saw a non-fiction library book entitled ‘Medieval Elves’. I was super excited to tell people this, until a second look told me it said ‘Medieval Lives’.

-Often times the only thing that separates man from the apes is a tall fence. Also we’re not apes.

-When someone asks ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’, you should ask if anyone has checked on the farmer recently. If his chickens are running around willy-nilly, maybe it means the farmer died.

-I think a good business idea would be suits of armor for babies.

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