So Valentine's Day is this Sunday, and while this post is a collection of ideas, it is not entirely motivated by the day in question. I have had many of these ideas bouncing around for a while, and this time of year is a good excuse to put them down.
-Being 'in love' and loving someone are not the same at all. Being in love is more about attraction, and how somebody makes you feel. There's a place for that, especially in the initial stages of attraction, but it can't be the basis of a loving and enduring relationship. I mean that it literally can't; love is not based on good vibes and how you look in your jeans.
-Tying in to the previous point, real love involves sacrifice and commitment. Those warm feelings that your brain chemistry gives you when you are 'in love' are pretty much useless when your spouse has hurt you or you've hurt them. Those aren't going to be what keeps you together. I would hope that affection still exists after a long marriage, but I think it's foolish to think that it will be there all the time.
-Sometimes I don't believe that love exists. I know it does; the love between my parents is real, as well as the love they have for their children. The love that my brother has for his wife and their children is real. God's love is real. These are all things that I see examples of, tangible evidence. So I know love exists and it is in my life, but sometimes I still doubt its existence. Maybe it comes from being single for longer than I thought I would be, or unrealistic expectations from a myriad of sources. Bottom line is, sometimes I look around and have serious doubts about the existence of love, even though it has been proven true over and over.
-Nobody has ever tried to set me up on a blind date. I am both relieved and offended by this fact.
-My parents will often pray for 'Mrs. Karl', something that they have been doing since before I was born (evidence of the reality of love). I, however, have a difficult time praying for my future wife, because I am not sure she exists. Being a husband and father is one of the things that I want most in the world, but I do not believe that God has promised me a wife, and I do not want to put the desire for a wife and family before my desire for God. Recently, I asked my mother to change her prayer; I asked her to add a speedy arrival to the prayers for safety and character development. It's great if my 'future wife' isn't injured in a tornado and is becoming more Christlike, but I think it might help me more if she and I were in the same geographic location.
-I'm pretty sure I would rather die alone than use Christian Mingle.
-Sometimes I see couples flood social media with posts about how awesome the other person is and it gets frustrating. I am a super big fan of spouses loving each other, but you can compliment each other in person, too, and not wave it in my face. That's not anybody's intention, but sometimes it's hard enough to see other people who have something I want when they're not being obnoxious about it.
-While I am admittedly bitter about some things, I am a sucker for a good love song and a genuinely romantic movie.
So that's the end of my thoughts for right now. Buy some reduced price Valentine's candy on Monday; it tastes 100% better when it's 50% off.
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