Monday, June 20, 2011

Forever Young…Or Immature Part 1

At the time I am writing this, I am 26 years old. And while I am not old by any means, some days I really feel that way, and I’m sure you do, too. So here is a list of fun things to do that will get the blood pumping and make you feel young at heart, even if you can’t feel young anywhere else.

#1. Throw something that one is not normally expected to throw. Desks, books, traffic cones, breakfast burritos, bricks, etc. This tip is also handy if you want to feel more like Batman. When you throw things, you’re not thinking about responsibilities or finding true love, you’re thinking ‘I hope the wrong person didn’t see that’.

#2. Drink a Mountain Dew more than once a year. Nothing says youth like an unnaturally high amount of Yellow 5. I want to be perfectly clear on something: Mellow Yellow does not count. Although they are essentially the same soft drink, Mountain Dew is much more ‘youthful’. Mellow Yellow has not had an alternative flavor in over 5 years, and it is not associated with extreme sports, obnoxious yelling, or barbell style earrings. Further more, Mellow Yellow has a much more soothing name; it’s got ‘mellow’ in the name, for crying out loud. While Mountain Dew sounds unassuming and peaceful, it’s original spokesperson was a cartoon hillbilly moonshiner. So here’s to Mountain Dew, which is low class on so many levels.

#3. Running in a circle and shrieking. Really, come on. Do I have to explain this?

To be continued...

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